Camp Hacking Wizardry

Whether bobbing down the Ruby Horsethief stretch of the Colorado River like a sunburned cork in a scenic wine glass or

fully committing to the art of sweaty survival at Glendo Lake (Wyoming's answer to a solar oven), my camping seasons have served up some spicy lessons and unexpected gear revelations.

The Art of Not Becoming a Human Popsicle

My go-to compact cocoon is the Klymit, snug, sleek, and rated to a balmy 30F. But April in Colorado? That's less "spring awakening" and more "artic surprise". This bag turns into a glorified napkin once the temps dip. Survival hacks for the frostier folks: layer like a lasagna slip in a sleeping bag liner (aka thermal burrito wrap, my fave the Sea to Summit Reactor Theromlite), and tuck an emergency blanket into your kit, because nothing says "prepared" like crinkly foil and the smug warmth of not freezing your buns off. Pack your trusty beanie and snuggle up with your spare water bottle filled with hot water. Or just buy a warmer rated sleeping burrito!

The Ice Chest Manifesto

One rogue YouTube rabbit hole later and I'm basically the Marie Curie of ice retention. It turns out packing a cooler is less "toss and chill" and more "strategic prep and layering meets cold war tactics." So do yourself a favor, check out this guy's video, trust me, it's worth your ice cubes. But if you're the "just give me the hacks" type skip the lecture........

1. Prep your cooler the day before, by filling it with a large bag of ice.

2. 1/3 food to 2/3s ice - we've all been overfilling our trusty chest.

3. Freeze food that can be frozen in advance and place on the bottom. I like pre-making as many meals as possible, like soups, pasta, etc. and it equals less to pack in the car.

4. Longer camp trips, invest in dry ice but put a layer on top (like cardboard) to prevent it freezing your food.

5. Organize your food according to when you will be eating it, limiting how often you are opening the cooler.

6. Don't empty the water when it starts to melt. I seal as much of my food in containers and plastic bags to prevent them becoming waterlogged.

Surviving the Wild Without Smelling Like It

First came the bathing wipes, bless you, Michelle! These rinse free wipes are like a spa day in a bag, compact, unassuming, and suddenly you are fresh enough to crash a mountain wedding.

My next camping MVP of campsite hygiene is the Rinsekit Pro. It holds a charge like it's guarding national secrets and sprays with just enough gusto to make you feel like you're starring in a wilderness shampoo commercial.

Bonus: I snagged it at Costco for a price that made me do a double take and victory lap down the aisle. Fast forward and now I don't smell like 'Eau de Camper', limited edition, never requested!

Grease and Glamour

Behold the oil spray bottle. No more rogue oil spills and

container space hogging. I'm embarrassed it took me this long to join the precision spritzing, anti-drip revolution.

But here we are, enlightened and grease free, except the bacon spatter crime scene - aka my shirt. It's giving CSI: Breakfast Edition.

Now let's be honest: nothing says "prepared, over-thinking it camper" like whipping out a grease-stained apron that reads "Whatever Happens, We're Eating It" while doing battle with the camp stove that's seen better days. It's now the go-to, proudly worn item in our camping arsenal. And if you really want to go all out and be that "do you have in there some oven gloves? - Of course I do." person. I know you want to.

Still Using Matches?

I could be way off base here but unless you are using matches to vaporize the camping port-o-loo stench like some kind of smoky exorcism ritual, all other fire-starting feats can be heroically handled by those handy-dandy click flame utility lighter thingies!

If you are fire starting challenged and your hand sanitizer is basically your spirit animal, good news, it moonlights as a pyromantic. Just squirt a little on your kindling, whisper sweet nothings to your lighter, and boom: instant blaze.

The Humble Bag Clip

Oh, I'm about to give the bag clips their moment in the spotlight - move over duct tape, there's a new multi-tasking diva in camp.

Who knew the humble kitchen bag clip was secretly auditioning for a role in "Camping Hacks: The Musical"? These little overachievers do at least triple duty, maybe more. That checkered red plastic tablecloth flapping like it's trying to flow south for the season - clip it down like a boss. Need to dry out that soggy towel, bag clips got your back.

GSI Outdoor Salt & Pepper Shaker

This little miniature double duty wonder is now a permanent resident in my gear lineup. I snagged this gem at Cabela's during what can only be described as a full-blown expedition into camping wonderland - me blissfully lost among gear galore, while mentally upgrading to a jumbo SUV to fit my camping Christmas wish list. It gives new meaning to mini space-saving.

Scamblegate: The Great Camping Egg Incident

Thought you packed your precious carton of eggs with the precision of a bomb squad defusing breakfast, yet somehow, they look like they've been jostled like popcorn in a tumble dryer during an earthquake. To the rescue, this "jostle me like a macarena, I dare you" egg carrier.